Entering the High School: A Study

More often than not this year, I have driven Kayti to school. This process gives her an extra 15 minutes in the morning and it gives me time with her in the car, something that will slowly fade away over the next few months as her solo trips as a new driver become more frequent.

Every morning, after Kayti gets out of the car, I have a brief moment or two while I am still in the car line to observe the social phenomenon of Entering a School. At any given time, there are about 20-25 kids walking toward the 2 sets of double doors to get into the building. While there are the exceptional one or two groups of kids entering together, the majority of 15-18 year olds enter alone, keeping their heads either down or straight ahead and walking tentatively to avoid the awkwardness of keeping the same pace with the person next to them. I've seen kids, who I am certain know each other, glance in the direction of their acquaintance in hope of recognition, only to be denied or unseen and so they continue with the pack as it moves toward the doors.

Funny thing about this ... at 49 I can still relate to the "will someone acknowledge me / should I acknowledge them" tug of war of this process and the agonizing attack on self-worth that can accompany it with every step. I still feel it sometimes as I enter the same building for church each week, but then up walks the designated Greeter, who reaches out his or her hand and welcomes me on Sunday mornings.

Too bad there's no Greeter Club in high school.

Don't you agree?

I was told to post a new blog a couple of times each week to keep my readers coming back to visit my site regularly. If you're reading this, then thank you for checking in even though I did not follow that advice for the last 2-3 weeks.

Important Note about today's blog:

Kayti has given me permission to write this.

I got a text in the middle of the day from Kayti. After reading it, I promptly replied "Be there soon," grabbed my purse, and hopped into the car to head to the school. Sometimes as parents we need to let our kids learn lessons the hard way. You know, like when they forget their homework, we should let them get a bad grade so they won't forget it next time. This was not one of those learning situations. If I let this go, it would have life-long ramifications.

On the way to the school, I thought through all of the things I could tell the secretaries about why Kayti would have to come home with me. My rule of only telling the truth was requiring me to push the envelope and be creative.

As I walked out of the school with Kayti beside me, she said "Thanks, Mom." "My pleasure, sweet thing," I replied. "I understand all too well. I think every other woman on the planet would feel the same way."

Kayti's text:

"Mom, you have to come get me. I have PE next and I haven't shaved my legs for 3 days."

High School Volunteering Pays Off

A couple of years ago, for security reasons, our high school installed an actual door bell, complete with an intercom system and a video camera. Now, to enter the building during the day, everyone must ring the doorbell, show their ID to the camera, explain why entering the building is a matter or life or death and wait to be buzzed in by one of the all powerful, all mighty school secretaries.

My third child is now at this high school. I never show my ID or say a thing to the intercom, because when the secretaries look into the video camera to see who has pushed the doorbell, they see me and they push the buzzer right away.

Last week I happened to approach the door just behind another mom who had already pushed the doorbell. She got no response, so I pushed it shortly after she did. Off went the buzzer immediately and in we walked. As we entered the office, one of the secretaries not so nicely told the other mom how the system worked and told her she had to go out to her car to get her ID. Her response, as she pointed to me, was "why doesn't she have to do that?"

The secretary looked at me and said, "Because she's been here forever."

I just shrugged, looked smug and thought, "ahhh, one of the fine perks of volunteering!"

School Cafeteria Seating ... The Agony & the Ecstasy

Memories came flooding back yesterday as Kayti described her 45 minutes of sheer torture thinking she'd be stuck in "A" Lunch without any of her friends. In science class, she sent out text messages* to all of her buddies to see when they had lunch, but got no response.

What agony to stand all alone in a crowded room, searching person after person, table after table, hoping and praying for a familiar face. I still shudder at the thought. I think, if we somehow rated the most stressful social experiences in life, finding a place in the cafeteria on the first day of school certainly ranks right up there for all of us.

After the details of the panic and the texting and the awful science class were all spilt, the ecstasy came in the form of half a dozen of Kayti's good friends who slowly trickled in, all happier to see each other than they ever will be again.

*Just imagine the restraint it took to not interrupt and say "Texting in class? Honey, that's so rude. They're gonna take your phone away one of these days." Thank you Lord, for that restraint.