Who knew "Mom" was a swear word?

"____________, Mom."

Who knew that the sweet nickname for the woman who gave birth to you could become a swear word? Typically uttered by a teen or young adult at the end of a response, this particular usage of the name "Mom," when added with a certain tone of voice and great inflection thereby giving it more than one syllable, can be a replacement for a myriad of colorful phrases. Around here it most often replaces the phrase "I know already, shut up now." (Isn't it my responsibility to remind my kids to watch for crazy teenage drivers when they ride their bikes to school or to bring up their dirty dishes so they don't attract rats in the basement?) "Okay, Mom." "Gotta go now, Mom." "Yes, Mom." And off they go, pedaling away with their headphones on or taking a full meal down to the basement on my plates with my forks and cups. Really?

It is then that I close my eyes and fantasize about getting all new dishes that go into the dishwasher after they've been used, tweezers without bent ends, scissors in the kitchen drawer, laundry baskets with clothes in them, carpet that you can actually see, and everyone home safe and tucked in around me.

All too soon my fantasies will come true ... except for the last one. And then it will be quite lonely and I will miss hearing my name "Mom," no matter how it is used.

Yep, I'd much rather have the kids around. And their slang. And no clean dishes in the kitchen.

So, get over it, Mom.
You've got laundry to do.

Mom Catharsis

Jillian is a Biggest Loser trainer. Jillian knows that the very obese people on this show have to face the anger, fear, and pain that have led to their over-eating before they can make any permanent change in their health and weight. Many of them have held so much in check for so long that it takes lots of yelling and pushing to get them to finally break down and release all those pent up emotions. Jillian is excellent at breaking folks down to nothing and then helping them build back up with confidence.

On one of the shows this season, Jillian was concerned about one particular contestant, a mother who was on the show with her son. One day in the gym, Jillian walked up to her, yelled relentlessly about how wimpy she was being while lifting weights and then said:

I know all about you. You put everyone else on the planet ahead of you. You don't take care of yourself. You take care of everyone else! Right?!? Who takes care of you? When is it your turn? Look what you've done to yourself? Is this working for you? I don't think so! YOU deserve to be here. YOU matter. Now it is YOUR turn.

As this dear mom stood there taking it all, exhausted from the intense exercise and the harsh but true words she was hearing, she slowly began nodding in agreement and then broke down into uncontrollable sobs. Jillian hugged her tight and as she held her while she cried, Jillian gently whispered in her ear, "Get it out, Mama. Get it all out."

Think Jillian makes house calls?